


It's a Turn On

by arrafrost



Series: Wade Wilson: Seduction Fails [1]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Bondage, Crack, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Euphemisms, Explicit Language, M/M, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 21:46:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrafrost/pseuds/arrafrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter is on the edge, Wade has been teasing and taunting him and he's so close. A little more dirty talk should get Peter right where Wade wants him... but Wade is notorious for using the wrong kind of words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Turn On

**Author's Note:**

> This was written back in February on tumblr but I decided to upload it now into a series of all the euphemism fics I've been writing to torment [Rachel](http://xrawrchelle.tumblr.com)

<Do it.>

“Wade, please!” Peter gasped, arching up on the bed, desperate for Wade’s body to cover his own, eager for his hands to return to his overheated skin. Wade had teased him all night long. He had been on the edge for so long that he didn’t know which direction was blue and which colors were east. Peter was sweating profusely, he was tugging on the ropes that had been expertly tied – he expected nothing less from the mercenary – with one of the toughest ropes he’d found. Peter had been pulling hard and still only managed to loosen them slightly, but not enough to escape. This had been intended. They both wanted Peter to remain stationary. It was more exciting that way.

[He’s begging you man, give him what he wants.]

“I think we should make him wait a bit longer.” Wade may have been speaking to the little voices in his head but he was speaking directly to Peter with a deep, fervent voice that set Peter’s nerves on fire. It didn’t help that his eyes, staring directly into Peter’s, were filled with indecent promises that caused the younger’s body to flush with need.

“No!” Peter whined, twisting in his restraints. He was going mad, his patience had burned up hours ago it seemed and if he didn’t get release soon… “Please, I need you. I can’t take it, please!”

<Come on! He wants it!>

[He’s writhing in front of us. Why are we not pounding him into the bed?]

<Get off your lazy ass! We’ve all waited long enough!>

Wade smirked. He got the hint his frenzied voices were alluding to…

[Not alluding. Stating directly: FUCK HIM.]

As he crawled up on the bed, letting his fingers slide up Peter’s feet. He palmed his ankle, fanning his fingers over Peter’s hot flesh as he slowly made his way up his body.

“You want it don’t you?”

“Yes!” Peter choked.

“You want me to fill you up until you can’t scream anymore.”

“Ah- fuck yes!”

“You want my hundred percent all-beef thermometer.”

Peter hesitated, eyes frantic with lust blinking rapidly as he gazed down in confusion. “Um… I guess, yes, Wade just- please!”

“You can’t wait for my love stick to tease your hole. You’ll beg and whine for my love muscle to fill you. Desperate for my ding dong to enter you, needing my schlong to plunge into you, fast and hard. You’ll cry out how much you love my captain winky, my doinker, my wankie. I’ll grant your wish, I’ll slam into you with my magic wand over and over again as you orgasm around my power drill. But I won’t come inside you, I’ll pull my bologna pony from your throbbing hole and make you suck my yogurt slinger until I come down your throat. And you’ll want to use your tongue to suck my DNA rifle clean, because you need it that much that you’ll do anything to please me. You need it that bad.”

Peter narrowed his eyes, head tilting away from his boyfriend as the frown stretched across his face.

<Dude?>

[What the fuck was that?]

“What? I was being sexy!”

Peter’s brow rose and his frown transformed into what might have been interpreted as a scowl.

[I have never seen a dick _that_ hard go flaccid _that_ fast.]

Wade gazed down. Sure enough, Peter’s cock was no longer straining and leaking precum onto his stomach, it was disinterested and soft against Peter’s thigh.

“I found them on a list of sexiest words to describe your penis!”

<No, dumbshit. That was a list of terms for penis you should _**not**_ use in fics. It’s right [HERE](http://arrafrost.tumblr.com/post/42985554268/yoiplait-terms-for-penis-you-should-not-use-in)! You fucked this up! She was gonna write some hot bondage porn and you screwed us all.>

“Oh…”

[Now we’re never going to get laid again.]

“We might-”

<Look at him! Take a good look at him!>

Peter glowered up at him, completely unimpressed with the situation. There was no stress in his bound arms as he laid back against the pillows with bored and irritated eyes burning into Wade’s already mutilated skin.

“Shit…”

<To sink any lower you’d have to dig with heavy machinery.>

[Or explosives.]


End file.
